It’s okay to change your yes to a no. Yes’s aren’t permanent. They’re something we choose again and again, each and every day. Something we have the right to recall and reconsider as soon as saying yes no longer feels conducive to our wellbeing and happiness. It doesn’t matter whether you said yes to a job, a date, a relationship, sex, a favor to a friend, a social endeavor, or a vow of silence — you don’t ever have to commit to something that forces you to compromise who you are and what feels right; especially if it’s something you agreed to under pressure, intimidation, or force. Changing your yes to a no might make people angry. It might hurt their feelings, cause them to see you as a flake, and result in lost connections. But if saying no means staying true to yourself, honoring your feelings, and making self-care a priority, it’s worth it. You are worth it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
I’ve been giving up on people too easily. If they don’t call, if they don’t try - then I don’t. It’s not fair to lay the blame on them when I’m not calling either. I’m just as much at fault. I’ve got a lot of resentment for old friends - for letting me go without a fight. I just want someone to call and say, ‘I miss you, how are you?’ I just want to call someone and say, ‘I miss you, I’m sorry.’ I want to be brave enough to stay in one place.